Recently I saw a post on Instagram from Canadian mountain
biking superstar, Emily Batty. She admitted that “when I’m having the most
success in my career is when it’s the least fun because it takes sacrifice to
be at the top level and 100% of everything I have to give, leaving no time for
anything else in life.”
The last few months of the Biathlon season felt a lot like
this for me. I was away every weekend, either travelling 250 km (one way) to
get to Mt Washington for training, or else travelling further for BC Cup events
and for the Provincials.
Admittedly this made me feel a bit weary after a while.
There were even times when I questioned the place of Biathlon in my life. Truly
this was a dark thought indeed!
There are a great many things we can do in life without
devoting very much effort and still we get by. We sort of show up for work and
do the minimal effort. We hang out with loved ones and family but in our mind
we’re not totally there. We clean the house but it’s just the minimal cleaning
job required to keep it from turning into a biohazard. In my experience,
Biathlon isn’t really like that.
First there is the cost. $5000 for a rifle???? And then the
ammunition, memberships at gun clubs or ski hills, wax, and so on. And this is
just to practice! Travelling to races can cost hundreds more. To travel to a BC
Cup event, I’m spending just under $500 in total. Meanwhile, colleagues at work
are spending just a little more to enjoy an all-inclusive resort in Mexico.
The physical demands are also very intense. For anyone who
has ever partaken in Nordic skiing, it can be very demanding and can induce a
level of discomfort that few other sports can. One trains through the summer
and yet the first ski of the season always makes one feel as if one did nothing
but sit around all year!
During the ski season when I’m away a lot, I also don’t see
very much of my friends and family and feel as though I’m growing more and more
distant from my life in Viktoria.
It is a tale of two worlds. During the off season, I have
much more free time, see my friends and family, and fall into an easy pattern
and relaxing weekends at home. Sure I train six days a week, but training can
be accomplished in a few hours and then there’s still lots of time for visiting,
catching up with a good book, or making a great cup of Kaffee at home whilst
the jazz records spin.
As soon as the ski trails are open, I am away every weekend.
Travelling takes its toll, as does the training. When I return late on Sunday,
I wearily face another week with no clean clothes and no food in the fridge. I compress
my life into a few days, catching up with chores, fitting in a few more
training sessions, and then meal prepping the night before I leave for another
weekend.
I’m not the best biathlete in my category and don’t even
think I make the most sacrifices. Still, Biathlon will ask everything you can
give and more. Why do it?
At the BC Provincials this March in Kelowna, I was surprised
by only missing one shot in each of my first three shooting bouts in the
pursuit race. Suddenly I found myself alone on the trail on a cold and sunny
morning. The trail conditions were perfect and my skis felt very fast. As I
slid through the trees along the sun-dappled trail, I found myself thinking, “what
if I’m all along because I’m first?”
It was a beautiful thought that suddenly became a reality –
I was in first place! Even though I
made a hash of my last standing shoot, I managed to produce a blistering last
lap and cross the finish line almost a full minute in front of my next
competitor.
How I felt during this race suddenly made all of the sacrifice
worth it, and gave me insight into why professionals and amateurs alike seek to
reproduce this marvellous feeling. There is nothing quite like it and that’s
because it’s not about being better than someone else – it’s about the
resolution and the reason for a LOT of hard work.
Finishing this race was the best day of my life and the
first time I ever won a gold medal at an official Canadian event. I said to
myself, “Remember this feeling when you find it hard to get out for a training
session, or when you wonder why you’re sacrificing so much.”
Never forget this feeling.
*
The snow is quickly melting and that victorious day is
beginning to fade away – but not completely. That day I realized what I’m
capable of, and now there’s nothing I’m looking forward to more than the
upcoming race season.
As a biathlete, it’s essential to maintain a close
connection to why you do what you do. It won’t matter how much you train if you’ve
lost this reason. If you’ve had a really great training session, conversation,
or race, right about it and when you’ve forgotten why you sacrifice so much ,
read what you’ve written and know that what you do, you do with purpose.